Decisions
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7 min read
At a crossroads? How to choose without waiting for a sign
Big decisions feel impossible when you try to solve them all at once. Here are the three questions I use with clients to turn a crossroads into a next step.

Iris Calder
Life coach, ICF PCC

Most people arrive at a big decision exhausted. They have made the pros and cons list, asked five friends, read the articles, and they are still stuck. That is not a lack of information. It is usually a lack of permission.
1. What would you choose if nobody was watching?
Write the answer down before your sensible brain edits it. You do not have to act on it. You only need to know it, because the choice you keep avoiding is often the one that matters most.
2. Which option will you still respect in five years?
Not enjoy. Respect. Comfort fades quickly, but the story you tell about why you chose something stays with you. Picture yourself explaining the decision to someone you admire, and notice which version you are proud to tell.
3. What is the smallest honest test?
You rarely need to quit, move or sign today. Find a two-week experiment that gives you real information: one conversation, one weekend in the new city, one small paid project in the new field.
A decision is easier to make when it is smaller than the fear around it.
If you are still stuck
That is normal. Some choices need a second person in the room, someone who is not invested in either answer. That is exactly what the Crossroads Intensive is for: one long session, one decision, and your next three steps written down.

Written by Iris Calder
Iris is an ICF-certified life coach based in Lisbon. She helps capable, busy people rebalance the life they’ve built, one small change at a time.


